Simon Sez

MPAA Rating: PG-13

Entertainment: +1/2

Content: -2 1/2

In this new action/adventure starring eccentric NBA star Dennis Rodman, it seems a ban is placed on the actors from doing anything remotely entertaining. Rodmans character, Simon, is a secret agent living in France and hes hot on the trail of a local arms dealer. But in comes Nick (Dane Cook), a former schoolmate of Simons, who is in town for a meeting, ironically with this same arms dealer. Nick is there to pay a ransom for his boss daughter, but he doesnt realize that the actual ransom is a disk with top-secret defense information on it. When Simon finds this out, he decides to get to the bottom of it. Whats on this disk and why does the arms dealer want it? A series of action packed events ensue as Simon tries to get the girl, keep the disk, and stop the arms dealer. This has to be one of the worst films ever made. The acting is horrible, special effects resemble those in a 1940s film, and the story is filled with so many holes that it barely holds up. With all of that in mind, hopefully no one will pay money to see this poor excuse for a movie, and in the future Rodman will stick to basketball.

As usual in the action/adventure motif, the story centers on a battle between good and evil. Rodman is not the typical hero, but his character is admirable in his battle against the criminals of the world. Gun battles occur throughout with several people being shot and presumably killed, although none of this is very graphic. Also, nearly every character is a martial arts expert, so many scenes include violent fighting with people kicked, punched, and beaten. One sex scene is implied with participants stripped down to their undergarments. Foul language occurs regularly with 19 s-words and seven moderate crudities. So, if the premise alone isnt enough to make you avoid this film, Simon says, Dont go see this movie!

Preview Reviewer: John Adair
Independent Artists, P.O. Box 3020, Cherry Hill, NJ 08034, (609) 423-6990

The following categories contain objective listings of film content which contribute to the subjective numeric Content ratings posted to the left and on the Home page.

Crude Language: Several (17) times - Mild 10, Moderate 7

Obscene Language: Several (21) times (s-word 19, other 2)

Profanity: Several (5) times Regular 3 (J 1, G sake 2), Exclamatory 2 (Oh God, Oh my God)

Violence: Many times - Mild and Moderate (scenes of martial arts violence including punching, kicking, and beatings, men shot, man stabbed, man falls out window, explosions, car wrecks, gun battles, man electrocuted)

Sex: Once Implied (man and woman in bed in underwear)

Nudity: None; Near Nudity: Few times (bikinis, woman in underwear, nude rear of female statue, cleavage)

Sexual Dialogue/Gesture: Once (reference to having sex)

Drugs: Several times (smoking, alcohol)

Other: Sex outside of marriage normal and acceptable

Running Time: 90 minutes
Intended Audience: Teenagers and Young Adults

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