Cabin Boy

MPAA Rating: PG-13

Entertainment: +1

Content: -2

An obnoxious, wealthy teenage boy named Nathanial Mayweather (Chris Elliott) plans to board a luxury liner for a vacation in Hawaii. Instead, he ends up on a run-down fishing boat, "The Filthy Whore." This spoof of adventure on the high seas old movies doesn't even try to be good. Nathanial encounters a sea monster that's half man and half shark, an iceberg monster he melts by pouring coffee on it, and a six-armed woman who is married to a 50 ft. giant. Other characters include the crew of dirty, crude sailors and Trina (Melora Walters). She is swimming around the world until Nathanial interrupts her efforts by throwing a fishing net over her. As Nathanial becomes less self-centered, he becomes saccharine sweet, which is even more obnoxious. The sets are amateurish and the acting embarrassing. Balance your checkbook, play solitaire, clean the oven, do your homework - but don't waste your money on CABIN BOY.

When the crew becomes irritated with the unlikable Nathanial, they put him on a raft and leave him on it for nine days. The tortuous experience transforms him into an anxious-to-please servant to the salty mates who treat him like an animal. When Trina, the swimmer, spurns his advances, the sailors direct him to an island woman who "can make him a man." When Nathanial finds the strange six-arm vamp, she initiates his first sexual experience, which is implied. This turns him into a virile, attractive man whom Trina can't resist. A crew member is knocked overboard accidentally, and a violent storm almost sinks the fishing boat. Otherwise, hits on the head, a near drowning, some hitting and shoving are slapstick violence with no serious injuries. The crusty mates spit tobacco, drink to excess and "cuss like sailors." Obscenities, crudities and profanities fly out of their mouths with every breath. The figurehead on the bow of the boat is a woman with a voluptuous figure to tie in with the boat's name. CABIN BOY is more like a tasteless skit some clowns high on beer or drugs would write.

Preview Reviewer: Mary Draughon
Buena Vista Distribution, 3900 W. Alameda Ave., Burbank, CA 91521

The following categories contain objective listings of film content which contribute to the subjective numeric Content ratings posted to the left and on the Home page.

Crude Language: Many (28) times - Mild 5; Moderate 23

Obscene Language: Many (12) times (s-word 7; other 5)

Profanity: Several (6) times - Regular 5; Exclamatory 1

Violence: Several times - Moderate (drowning, near drowning; hits on head; storm wrecks boat; sock in jaw)

Sex: Implied twice (not shown, no nudity)

Nudity: None, but partial breast nudity on figurehead of boat

Sexual Dialogue/Gesture: Several times (crude references to sex, female anatomy, genitals)

Drugs: Sailors drink hard liquor, get drunk, spit tobacco

Other: None

Running Time:
Intended Audience: Under 16

Click HERE for a PRINTER-FRIENDLY version of this review.