Suburbans, The
R
Entertainment: +1
Acceptability: -3

Another rock n roll comeback story? A record company executive (Jennifer Love Hewitt) hears The Suburbans (Craig Bierko, Matt Cedeno, Will Ferrell, Tony Guma), a one-hit wonder from the 80s, singing their hit song at a wedding of one of the band members in 1998. She offers them a deal to do a reunion tour with all the trimmingsradio, TV promotions, concerts, and a re-release of their single chart-topping song. But the road back to fame for this middle-aged group of guys may not be worth the effort or the sacrifice, especially if it means giving up the new lives and loves theyve worked so hard to develop over the years. And when they find out the real reason they were offered this deal, their hopes of a real comeback will vanish as quickly as they came. THE SUBURBANS is a gut-wrenchingly poor film, so much so that its really hard to know which is worsethe hammy acting, the annoying dialogue, the overused premise, or the yawn-inducing plot. If you have a choice between peeling the grass out of the cracks in the driveway and seeing this film, choose the grass.

Aside from wondering why in the world such a bore of a film was ever made and distributed, one has to also ponder why it was made even worse with the unnecessary inclusion of profanity, obscenity, and crude sexual elements. All of the band members have been living, and sometimes having children, with women out of wedlock. One band member has had a child with his live-in lover. Another couple is living together and trying to get pregnant. Two such attempts are shownone on the floor obscured by their bed and another on the beach under a blanket. Marriage does finally come into the picture for both of these 30-something couples but almost as an afterthought. Mitch is the gigolo in the group and has a rather sorted past, and present, involving the opposite sex. All of these lifestyle choices are shown as normal and acceptable. In addition, many obscenities and several profanities further tarnish an already dismal script. We dont recommend THE SUBURBANS on several different levels, a significant one being its lack of moral value. The best thing about the film is that its only 81 minutes long.

Preview Reviewer: Cliff McNeely
Distributor: Motion Picture Corporation of America, 1401 Ocean Avenue 3rd Floor, Santa Monica, CA 90401, (310-319

Summary
Crude Language: Many (10) times - Mild 4, Moderate 6
Obscene Language: Many (40) times (f-word 17, s-word 21, other 2)
Profanity: Several (9) times All Regular (G 7, J 1, JC 1)
Violence: None
Sexual Intercourse: Twice no nudity (unmarried couple on floor, on beach under blanket-graphic motions and sounds)
Nudity: None; Near Nudity: Few times (underwear shown when woman lifts dress, revealing outfit on woman, men in underwear)
Homosexual Conduct: None
Sexually Suggestive Action/Dialog: Several times (crude references to sex in high school and one night stands, references to self-gratification, male arousal, unconventional sex, to favorite male/female body parts, discussion of fake climax, man propositions nun)
Drug Abuse: Few times (cigarette smoking, flashback of marijuana use, man gets drunk)
Other: Unmarried couples living and having babies together portrayed as acceptable
Running Time: 81 minutes
Intended Audience: Adults

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