Two If By Sea
Entertainment: +2
Acceptability: -2

Besides the title, the only thing that TWO IF BY SEA has to do with Paul Revere is its setting in the Northeast. Frank O'Brien (Denis Leary) is a petty crook from Boston who is talked into stealing a painting he thinks is worth about $100,000. He takes the painting up to Rhode Island along with his girlfriend Roz (Sandra Bullock). They pretend to be rich socialites for the weekend while they wait to sell the painting to a mysterious buyer and art thief. In this short time, Frank and Roz make fools of themselves at a party and Roz becomes attracted to Evan Marsh (Stephen Dillane), the handsome, very rich next door neighbor. Now Roz must decide between these two very different men. At the same time, the F.B.I., Frank's crooked friends and the local police are all moving in on Frank and the painting, which is actually worth more like $4 million. TWO IF BY SEA tries to be witty and romantic, but seldom succeeds in either category. Sandra's first flop since hitting it big is not terrible, but TWO IF BY SEA could use a plot with a little more coherence.

The whole movie centers around an unmarried couple who have been living together for seven years. Even more offensive is the film's blatant attempt to make that situation, along with the fact that Frank is a thief, albeit a good-hearted one, look normal and acceptable. Frank and Roz break into someone's house and masquerade as guests, but somehow everything is forgiven by the end of the movie. The dishonest couple suffer no consequences for their dishonesty. Enough said about the moral values of this film which includes two sensual kissing scenes, but no nudity or sexual intercourse. Frank's mouth should be washed out with soap for the many sexual references and f-and s-words uttered by him. The only violence are a few punches landed on two different men by Roz. The girl-next-door image of Sandra Bullock is tarnished in TWO IF BY SEA.

Preview Reviewer: Greg Wilson
Distributor: Warner Bros., 4000 Warner Blvd., Burbank, CA 91522

Crude Language: Many (14) times - Mild 4, Moderate 10
Obscene Language: Many (50) times - F-word 26, s-word 16, other 8
Profanity: Many (23) times - Regular 13 (GD, J, JC, G), Exclamatory 10
Violence: Few times - Mild (woman punches two men in the face)
Sexual Intercourse: None
Nudity: None
Homosexual Conduct: None
Sexually Suggestive Action/Dialog: Many times (references to intercourse, male genitals)
Drug Abuse: Social drinking few times
Other: Petty thieves suffer no consequences for actions and are portrayed as likable; living together outside of marriage treated as acceptable
Running Time: Unknown
Intended Audience: Adults

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