What Happens in Vegas
Entertainment: +1
Acceptability: -4

Cameron Diaz, Ashton Kutcher. Romantic comedy. Written by Dana Fox. Directed by Tom Vaughan.

FILM SYNOPSIS: Two strangers awaken together to discover they've gotten married following a night of debauchery in Sin City, and one of them has won a huge jackpot after playing the other's quarter. The newlyweds devise ever-escalating schemes to undermine each other and get their hands on the money only to find themselves falling in love amid the mutual backstabbing.

PREVIEW REVIEW: There are a few laughs and the two stars are physically beautiful human specimens. At one point Ms. Diaz appears in her underwear and she looks as if shed been chiseled by heavenly angels. Truly a work of art. That cant be said for the contrite, sloppy and overly familiar attempt at romantic comedy. The two main problems are the haphazard direction and the look-at-me-mom-Im-being-funny acting choices. Well, lets not forget the clumsy attempts at comic dialogue. And, oh yeah, none of the sensitive moments ring true.

Hes an Oscar Madison, man-boy bachelor slob (gee, never saw that before) and shes the gorgeous goddess no one wants to marry. Please, everyone would marry Cameron Diaz. Id marry her and shes a Democrat. My point: its often unoriginal and more often ridiculous. As shes running down the street, late for an appointment, shes uttering the s-word several times. Oh, thats original.

Both Ms. Diaz and Mr. Kutcher are no strangers to sitcom-ish situations. But they really dont have a flair for this genre, not like a Cary Grant or Carol Lombard or Bill Murray or Madeline Kahn. Or, if they do, this material and this director inhibit their abilities.

Perhaps its the era we are in. Few comedies these days stray far from the bathroom when it comes to humor. Example: to bug her, he pees in the kitchen sink when she takes too long in the bathroom; he stuffs popcorn down his underwear so she wont eat any of it; then theres the scene where he, oh, well, enough of that.

And whats supposed to be funny undermining backstabbing between the two leads comes across as mean-spirited.

It just amazes me that people find this crass buffoonery worth an $8 ticket. Or that all those associated with this movie had the nerve to cash their paychecks. Now, with such a hostile critique comes the inevitable challenge Id like to see you, Mr. Critic, make a movie. I can only answer with I do what I know how to do. With the recent rash of disastrous film comedies, I suggest more filmmakers become critics and stop making movies.

DVD Alternatives: Whats Up Doc with Barbra Streisand and Ryan ONeil, The Awful Truth with Irene Dunn and Cary Grant, His Girl Friday with Cary Grant and Rosalind Russell. I know, theyre all old. So, let me get this straight. Some will pass on creative and hysterical in preference to newer mediocrity? I see.

Preview Reviewer: Phil Boatwright
Distributor: 20th Century Fox

Crude Language: Several crudities, especially from Mr. Kutchers misogynist sidekick.
Obscene Language: Six or so obscenities.
Profanity: I caught two misuses of Christs name.
Violence: A few slapstick situations; in a comic scene, friends slap their friend to make it look like hes being beaten by his wife.
Sexual Intercourse: Nothing graphic, but there is some innuendo and a couple of sexual situations.
Nudity: None. Two scenes show women in their briefs. Throughout, women dress provocatively.
Homosexual Conduct: None
Sexually Suggestive Action/Dialog: Several crude sexual inferences and discussions.
Drug Abuse: A great deal of drinking; a couple of scenes the leads get drunk.
Other: None
Running Time: 98 minutes
Intended Audience: Adults

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